I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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