Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
