That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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