I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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