I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
