yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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