I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
