Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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