I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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