You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Your cock deserves a montage
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
