He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
