I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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