Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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