Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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