whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
