I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
