We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
