i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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