Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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