Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
