i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
