hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
