i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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