break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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