just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
