3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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