if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
