no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
