You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
