I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
