Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
