I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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