It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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