so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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