I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
they need to just BURY HIM!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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