take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
