Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
