Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
