I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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