TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
