dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
