I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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