Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
