Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
