When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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