Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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