didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
