I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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