TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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