i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
