...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
