yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize