he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
