if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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