she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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