From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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