The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
