You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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