Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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