ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
