if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize