he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
soo... how was my night?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
