I can text with my tongue
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
