he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
