dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
