I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
